Electric Feel
by BlairCatherine
Summary: Bella, Edward, and the gang had it all. Looks, money, popularity, and each other. They were determined to have the best summer of their lives. Little did they know their perfect world was about to come crashing down around them.
1. Hot Mess

**A/N: Hey, welcome to my story. It's not the first I've written, but it's the first I've published. I'm going to Berlin for fashion week and then staying an extra week sight-seeing and whatnot, so after this chapter it'll be about two weeks before I update again. Anyways enjoy, and don't forget to review.**

**Warning: this story deals with underage drinking, drug use, sexual scenes, and suicide. **

We were 16. We were beautiful. We were dirty rich. 'The Academy,' they called us. The elite. Living beyond our years, taking on the world, and wearing gorgeous clothes while we did it.

We were invincible.

We were Bella Swan, Alice Brandon, Rosalie Hale, Edward Cullen, Emmett McCarty, and Jasper Whitlock.

And this was going to be the best summer of our lives.

BPOV

"Bella, where's the damn straightener?" I heard Alice whisper-yell from my large walk-in closet, which used to be a guest bedroom.

"Alice shut the fuck up, you'll wake my parents," I hissed back at her, walking into the closet, GHD in hand. "And hurry on, it's already 2:45," I told her, checking the time on my silver diamond studded Cartier.

"How exactly are we getting to Jessica's anyway?" Rosalie asked from where she was lounging on my bed, fully dressed and made up. She was wearing a black satin Prada wrap dress, with black silver-studded six-inch Louboutins.

"The guys are waiting for us outside the gates, we're all walking together," I informed her.

"Ok I'm ready," Alice announced as she stumbled out of the closet. She was dressed in a pale pink Dolce body con skirt, with a loose-fitted black Chanel open-backed top, and a lacy pink leotard underneath. She'd already started drinking and wasn't exactly sober.

"Okay, lets go. Follow me, and don't make a sound," I ordered.

I slowly opened my bedroom door, holding my breath as I prayed it didn't squeak. Once it was open, Alice and Rose tiptoed out passed me, shoes in one hand, alcohol in the other. I closed my door behind me and began leading the way down the hallway, wincing at the feel of the cold marble on my bare feet. Right when we reached the top of the elaborate staircase, there was a crash as Alice banged into the dark mahogany hall table. We froze, waiting with bated breath for the sound of my parents getting up. Realizing we were in the clear, we dissolved into giggles.

I shushed them again, as we continued making our way out of the house. Once we reached the foyer, I unlocked the grand two-story high glass doors. I motioned for Alice and Rose to go out, before locking the door behind me. Running down the long tree-lined drive, I let out an exuberant laugh. Mission sneak out: accomplished.

We expertly climbed over the large wrought iron gates and dropped down onto the road where the boys were awaiting us.

"Jaspeeeeeer," Alice squeaked out, before launching herself into his arms.

"Hey darlin', had a bit to drink did you?" he drawled in his sexy Southern accent, wrapping his arms around her.

"Pssssht me? Not at aaaaall," Alice tried to convince him. He chuckled before leaning in for a kiss, which quickly turned into a heavy make out.

I laughed at her drunken state before turning to Edward. As always, I was left dazzled at the sight of him. His bronze hair was tousled on his head, looking as though he'd just spent hours running his hands through it. His green eyes were sparkling in the glow of the streetlights, and they almost left me breathless. He was dressed in a green polo t-shirt that I wanted to rip off him, and Rock and Republic stressed denim jeans.

"Hey," I smiled.

"Hey," he murmured, before his lips crashed to mine, our tongues twisting and exploring. I felt his hands make their way to my ass, moaning in pleasure as he massaged my cheeks. I grinded into his obvious erection, eliciting a soft hiss from him. Remembering we had somewhere to be, I pulled away from him and turned to the rest of the group. Alice and Jasper were still making out, and Rosalie and Emmett were standing close to each other talking.

"Lets get the fuck out of here," I called out to them, "we have a party to get to!"

The music was loud. I could feel my body swaying to the beat, without me even thinking about it. My eyes were closed, and my hands were running up and down my body and through my hair. I felt Edward come up behind me and snake his arms around my waist. I could feel his erection, and automatically grinded my ass into it. He began kissing up and down my neck. I was getting seriously turned on.

"Lets go somewhere," he murmured into my ear.

Without even waiting for an answer from me, he grabbed my hand, and pulled me through the house out the door of the sunroom. We stumbled through the garden, until we reached the forest surrounding the grounds. Pushing me against a tree, Edward pressed his body flush against mine as our lips met in a passionate kiss.

Tongues meshed, teeth clattered, hands tangled in hair. I couldn't remember being more turned on in my life. Edward wasted no time in slipping his hand up my white feathered Versace skirt, into my panties. I moaned loudly into his mouth as he stroked my wet folds before plunging two fingers into my pussy. I bucked into his hand as his thumb stroked my clit. Before I knew it I was there, orgasming as his mouth swallowed my screams.

After giving myself a few seconds to recover, our lips met again. I reached down to undo his pants, reaching into his boxers to free his erection. He gasped as I began stroking up and down his cock.

"Bella…" he breathed out, backing away so he could pull my tits out of my navy low-cut sequined Chloé top. I was extremely grateful I'd left the La Perla's at home. He took one of my nipples in his mouth, and I let out a soft moan. I stroked him even faster, using my other hand to gently cup his balls. He bit down on my nipple when I squeezed them, making me scream out. His hips began bucking wildly and I stroked faster. I could tell he was on the verge.

I dropped to me knees, and took him in my mouth to finish him off. With one hard suck, he came into my mouth. I licked him clean before standing back up.

"Bella, that was… amazing," he got out between breaths.

"You weren't so bad yourself," I teased as we straightened out our clothes. "Come on, lets get back to the party."

I groaned in pain as the early morning sun streamed through my blinds. My head felt like it was full of razors that pierced my brain every time I moved. I slowly opened my eyes to find myself in my bed with Edward. Further inspection showed Alice passed out on my floor, and Rosalie's legs sticking out of my closet door. It appeared half her body was buried beneath piles and piles of clothes.

I threw the covers off of me, to find I was wearing a pair of ruined bright pink panties and a vintage Motley Crue tank top. A glance at Edward showed that he was totally nude. I giggled and put the covers back over him.

Unable to ignore my unbearable thirst anymore, I slowly climbed out of my super king sized bed. I crept through my room as quietly as possible, and silently opened the door. The cool marble felt refreshing under my feet and I had to fight the urge to lay down right there and press my heated face to it. Luckily the rest of the house appeared to be deserted. There's no way I'd be able to hide this hangover from my parents.

Finally arriving in the kitchen, I rummaged through the large fridge before emerging with a two-liter bottle of water. I fell to the kitchen floor and in no time had half the bottle gone. That was when the nausea hit. I jumped up and just managed to make it to the sink before vomiting.

After the third time emptying my stomach, I felt much better. I decided to make my way back upstairs to wake up the other three. I was dead if my parents arrived home and found them in their current states.

I walked into my bedroom, water in hand, to find Alice and Edward both awake. She was still sitting on the floor, staring at the wall as if she were concentrating on not throwing up.

I turned to see Edward still laying down, squinting over at me. I walked over to the bed and climbed in next to him.

"Good morning sunshine," I chirped before leaning over to kiss him on the forehead. He just groaned and reached for the bottle of water, gulping it down. I waited for him to hand it back to me, then put it on the nightstand and cuddled up next to him. He pulled me closer, and I felt his morning wood pressing into my thigh. I reached my hand down and gave him a long stroke.

"Bella," he whispered in a hoarse voice.

"We don't want to let it go to waste now, do we?" I purred into his ear.

"Guys please, I'm way too hung over to listen to this," Alice rasped from her place on the floor.

"Too bad," I replied. I began stroking him again, getting faster and faster until he was thrusting his hips into my hand.

"Bella Bella Bella," he moaned repeatedly, unable to form a proper sentence.

He began thrusting faster. I twisted my hand around his head, and he came with a loud groan. He flopped back onto his back and closed his eyes, a satisfied smile plastered on his face.

"No way dude, wake up. You have to get out of here before my parents get home," I warned, while shoving him out of the bed.

He climbed out from under the comforter and began searching for his clothes. Ten minutes later he was dressed and ready to go.

"I'll call over later?" I asked.

"Yeah I'm home all day," he confirmed. He reached over to kiss my forehead, then waved goodbye to Alice and left.

EPOV

I quietly opened the door to the mudroom trying to make my way inside unnoticed. I was in no fit state to talk to my parents. I crept into the kitchen to find Juanita wiping down the black granite counters.

"Morning Edward," she smirked knowingly.

"Don't say a word," I warned teasingly.

I walked out of the kitchen into the hall and took the stairs two at a time. I began creeping down the hall, knowing Carlisle was probably in his office. Raised voices coming from behind the heavy wooden door confirmed my suspicions. Coming closer to the office I could make out that the voices belonged to Carlisle and Esme, and it sounded like something wasn't right. Intrigued, I tiptoed closer to the door to listen.

"Carlisle darling please just think this through, I really don't think we're in the right place for you to make that investment."

"That's the thing Esme, we're not in the best place. This would be the one to get things back on track. Building has completely halted on the site in Seattle, and we've had to let go of half the construction team in Portland."

"So you think buying an island will help?" she asked, sounding exasperated.

"Trust me Esme, please. Leave the business to me, you don't need to worry about a thing, ok?"

Sensing the conversation was drawing to an end, I moved away from the door and continued down the hall into my room. I flopped onto my bed and closed my eyes. I didn't dwell on what I had overheard. Carlisle was a major property developer with projects up and down the coast, and periods of bad investments and sticky financial situations were the norm.

There was a knock on the door and a second later Esme walked in. She looked stressed.

"What's up mom?" I asked.

"Edward your father and I need to have a word, can you come to the office?" she asked.

I stood up and followed her back down the hall, searching my brain for a reason I could be in trouble. Nothing came to mind. I walked into the office and sat down in the squeaky leather chair in front of Carlisle's desk. Esme walked around to the far side, standing next to his chair where he was sat.

"Well?" I was getting impatient, curious to know what was up.

"Edward…" Carlisle began. He looked stressed. "We're not in the best place right now, and we need to talk about making some cutbacks around the house."

I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my head. Fear picked at my brain but I shoved it to the back of my mind.

Carlisle continued to talk. "Hopefully everything should be resolved in a month or two. We just need to make some emergency arrangements for now. Juanita will be let go indefinitely. Your bank account will be frozen, but you'll have access to mine for the time being. That's all for now, and hopefully it will suffice until I sort this mess out. But just one more thing, we're going to put the cabin in Aspen under your name, that way the bank have no grounds to repossess it if it should come to that."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I knew Carlisle's business had taken a blow form the recession, but never imagined it was this bad. He was trying to play it down, but I knew it was more serious that he was letting on. He didn't usually find it necessary to sign over a ski lodge to his 16 year old son. Realizing I still had to give a reply, I pulled myself together.

"Ok no problem, I'm happy to help in any way I can," I assured. I stood up and went back to my room, needing some time for it to sink in.

I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about what Carlisle had told me. My whole life, I'd never had to worry about money. Before property developing, Carlisle had been a renowned brain surgeon. Life had always been easy for me. Esme had made sure I respected money, and that I was grateful for everything I had, but I'd never wanted for anything. And then letting Juanita go. That was a big blow. She had been with us since I was seven, she was one of the family. I felt sick at the thought of how different life would be without her around the house.

Eventually the lack of sleep the night before caught up to me. I couldn't help it as my eyes closed and I drifted off to sleep.

"Edward. Edward wake up," I heard a soft voice calling.

Groaning, I opened my eyes to find Bella kneeling next to me on my bed.

"You're great company," she mocked.

"Sorry, sorry, I'm awake." I sat up in bed, and leaned over to kiss her hello.

"How are you?" she asked.

"I'm fine," I lied, not wanting to worry her with our situation until I was certain it was something to be worried about.

She must have seen something in my expression, because she raised her eyebrows and gave me a pointed look.

"Honestly, love, it's nothing. Just leave it for now."

"Ok…" she said reluctantly.

"Come on, lets go watch a movie," I said. I didn't know what was going to happen in the coming months, but I was happy to be able to spend time with the girl I loved, and that was enough for now.


	2. Little Lion Man

**A/N: You have long plane rides and hotel WiFi to thank for this one. So, the last chapter got loads of favourites and alerts, but only one review (thank you nicolleio, lots of hugs from Edward for you). **

**Oh also, I made a twitter today, and so far only have one follower. Pop over to www(dot)twitter(dot)com/xBlairCatherine if you're interested, I'd love to talk to you all.**

**BPOV**

I stood in my closet trying to find an outfit for the day. I was only going over to Edwards so I decided to be comfortable. I pulled on a pair of grey woolen knee-high Prada socks, light pink silk Marc Jacobs bloomers, a white loose-fitting Alexander Wang t-shirt, and Doc Martens. Happy with my outfit choice, I grabbed my cell phone and car keys and walked downstairs into the kitchen.

I grabbed an apple and a bottle of water to eat and drink in the car over to Edwards. I left through the mudroom door, trying to escape the house without running into anyone. I succeeded in getting to my car without being noticed, and quickly drove down the driveway and out the gates.

As soon as the property was out of site, I pulled the car over and reached into the glove compartment. I rummaged through the piles of CDs and books until I found what I was looking for. I got what I needed – one Zoloft, one Xanax – and put the bottles back in the glove compartment. I popped the pills into my mouth and swallowed them with a drink of water. I let out a sigh of relief as the drugs entered my system. I started the car up again and set off for Edwards.

* * *

I pulled up outside the Cullens and got out of the car. Out of the six of us, this was my favourite house by far. It was the perfect mix between modern and cosy. It was a large white edifice, surrounded by trees and wilderness, and backed onto a surging river. The entire back wall of the house was made of glass, and you could see miles and miles of trees, and mountains on the horizon. It was breathtaking.

I walked up the porch steps and through the door. I figured Edward would be in his room nursing his hangover so I began making my way up the stairs. Just as I reached the top Esme walked out of Carlisle's office. She looked stressed. Her brow was furrowed and her usually smooth face was lined with worry.

"Hey Esme," I said, alerting her to my presence.

"Bella, darling, how lovely to see you," she greeted me. She walked down the hall to me and enveloped me in a hug. Pulling back, she kept her hands on my shoulders and held me at arms length. "Bella, you look like you haven't eaten in weeks," she admonished. "You're staying for dinner tonight."

I was more than happy to oblige. Home-cooked meals were a rarity in the Swan-Dwyer residence. Renee wasn't into the whole motherly thing, and Phill was too into being masculine to spend time in the kitchen. If I wanted a proper dinner, it was up to me to make it myself.

We chatted for a few more minutes, until she had to leave for cardio barre.

I continued down the hall to Edwards room. I knocked on the door, and when he didn't answer I went ahead and entered.

He was passed out on his bed, still fully dressed on top of the comforter.

I climbed up on the bed and crawled over to him.

"Edward. Edward wake up," I called softly, running my hand through his messy hair.

He groaned and slowly opened his eyes, squinting against the light.

"You're great company," I teased, poking him in the side.

"Sorry, sorry, I'm awake," he murmered, sitting up on the bed. He leaned over to give me a kiss.

"How are you?" I asked.

I saw a hint of something I couldn't place darken his features before he quickly smoothed his expression.

"I'm fine," he said after a beat of silence.

I wasn't convinced. I raised my eyebrows at him, letting him know he couldn't fool me.

"Honestly, love, it's nothing. Just leave it for now."

I didn't want to push him, trusting that he would talk to me about it when he was ready. Edward and I didn't keep secrets from each other.

"Ok…" I agreed.

"Come on, lets go watch a movie," he suggested.

* * *

We lay on the couch of the informal living room, Edward with his back against the arm and and me leaning on his chest. He had his arms wrapped around me, and we were covered in a thick woolen blanket. It was such a comforting, familiar position, I found myself struggling to stay awake. The steady rise and fall of his chest was more soothing than any lullaby. I inhaled deeply, and snuggled further into his chest. He smelled like home.

Eventually, Esme called us to the dining room for dinner. We sat next to each other at the large wooden circular table.

"Bella, it's nice to have you to join us for dinner," Carlisle smiled warmly at me.

"Thank you for having me," I replied. It was the first time in a couple weeks that I'd seen him. His appearance had changed in that time. His usually blond hair was streaked with grey. Worry lines were permanently etched into his brow. There was a hint of stubble growing on his jaw. He no longer looked like the handsome young man he used to. Instead he looked older and worn down, like the weight of the world rested on his shoulders.

Juanita entered the room and began setting dishes out on the table. My mouth watered at the delicious smells emanating from the food. I quickly loaded up my plate, and waited for the others to do the same before I completely devoured it.

The atmosphere throughout dinner was tense. It was a total contrast to how dinner at the Cullens usually was. I was used to lively conversation, and everyone sharing stories and news from their days. But now everybody ate in silence, not even attempting to create conversation.

I glanced over at Edward and once again saw the stress written on his face. I reached over under the table and grasped his hand. I didn't know what was going on with his family, but I wanted to offer comfort in any way I could.

He glanced over at me and flashed a small tense smile before turning back to his dinner.

Worry gripped my heart. I didn't know what was going on with the Cullens, but I was going to find out.

* * *

I lay on my bed, bored out of my mind. I had left Edwards house at seven, sensing that his family weren't really up for company. I didn't usually count as 'company' at the Cullens, but it was clearly a serious situation if Edward wasn't talking to me about it.

My phone began ringing somewhere on my bed admist the piles and piles of cushions, pillows, and clothes that were strewn all over it. I eventually located it and hit the answer button.

"Bella party at Laurens, dressy-casual, I'll pick you up in a half hour, bring your own drink," Alice burst out the second I had the phone at my ear.

"Hello to you to Alice," I teased. "This is really late notice, I'll look like shit."

"Bella you always look great, don't worry about it," she said.

"Ok I'll see you in a half hour then," I confirmed. I heard a loud squeak before the line went dead. I laughed to myself at her antics, and got off the bed to get ready.

I walked into my closet and quickly selected an outfit. I decided on a black silk Zac Posen sleeveless dress, that turned into a deep purple at the end, with black Steve Madden six inch ankle boot heels, and a black YSL leather jacket. Next I backbrushed the roots of my hair, creating volume that it was otherwise lacking.

I checked the time. It had been 25 minutes since Alice had called. I grabbed a rusted back Balenciaga purse, throwing in my cell, car keys and wallet.

Right as I made it to the end of the stairs, I heard a car pull up outside the doors. I walked out and hopped into the front of the bright yellow Porsche.

"Hey Al, we need to go to an offlicence," I said. "Oh and hey."

"Hey Bella. No problem. You look hot. Very badass."

"Thanks," I laughed. I felt badass too. Tonight was going to be a good night.

* * *

I stood alone in the middle of the crowded room, swaying to the beat of the music. My eyes were closed, my hands were in my hair, my hips were moving with the rhythm. The walls were thumping, talking to me. They started moving closer and closer, trying to trap me. I decided to escape from the stuffy room into the kitchen.

The kitchen was crowded. There were couples making out aginst the counter, guys were downing shots while yelling and cheering and laughing, girls were filling up their cups giggling and staring at the guys.

Someone thrust a cup into my face, so I took it and quickly downed the contents. I closed my eyes again, feeling the alcohol warm my body. My eyes and limbs began to feel heavy, more than was normal considering what I'd had to drink. I began to feel unbearably dizzy. I opened my eyes. Everything was moving in and out of focus. I could feel my heartbeat pounding in my ears.

I wanted to go outside, but my legs weren't listening to what my brain was telling them. Eventually I managed to make them move, and began slowly making me way out of the kitchen. Everything was blurry. I grasped onto the kicthen cabinets, feeling my way outside. I felt as though I might collapse at any second.

As soon as I made my way out to the back yard, I collapsed onto my hands and knees. I began crawling off the concrete patio area, onto the lawn. Once I was on the grass, I fully collapsed and curled up in a fetal position. I could faintly make out blurred figures standing around the pool, before everything went dark.

* * *

"Bella. Bella darling, please wake up," I heard a sweet angelic voice call.

I struggled to get my eyes open, but they eventually complied. I was in my room, in bed, wrapped in my big white fluffy comforter. Edward was sitting Indian style on my bed next to me.

"Edward. Water," I managed to rasp.

My throat felt as though it had been rubbed raw with sandpaper. Swallowing felt like I was trying to force down razors. My head was pounding, and my stomach was in bits. This wasn't a normal hangover. I took the bottle of water Edward held out to me, and chugged down over half of it at once.

"What happened last night?" I asked. I couldn't remember a single thing from the party, and this wasn't a normal hangover. I was on some sort of a comedown, but couldn't remember taking anything at any point.

"Someone spiked your drink. I found you passed out on the lawn," he explained, looking pained.

I was shocked. Forks parties were usually pretty safe, considering everybody knew each other. I couldn't think of a single person who would have spiked my drink.

"I don't have a clue either," Edward said, obviously knowing what was going through my mind. "I was with Emmett and Jasper playing stupid drinking games, when Alice came running over in a panic. She said there was something wrong with you, and you'd passed out on the lawn. I went to find you, and brought you straight home. It was clear from looking at your beer that you had been drugged."

"Did you stay here last night?" I asked.

"Yeah. Renee and Phill were out when we arrived home, so you haven't been caught."

I sighed in relief. I hadn't even considered the trouble I might be in until he brought it up.

"Thank you for taking care of me," I said gratefully.

"Of course my Bella," he replied, and kissed me sweetly on the forehead.

* * *

**EPOV**

After I made sure Bella was ok to be alone, I drove home. Carlisle and Esme would be wondering where I was if I didn't get home soon.

I entered the house and made my way into the kitchen. I was surprised not to find Juanita cooking breakfast at the stove. I took a box of cereal from a cupboard and walked up to my room, planning on eating it dry.

About ten minutes later, there was a knock on the door and Esme came in.

"Edward, where did you end up last night?" she asked.

"I crashed at Bella's," I told her.

"I should have known," she grinned. "Listen, we need to talk."

I felt my stomach roll with nausea. Please please please don't let her have more bad news, I thought.

"Sure, what is it?" I asked, trying to stay composed.

"Well… Juanita left last night. She thought it might be easier for everyone if you weren't at home to witness it."

I stared at her for a few minutes, trying to let this news sink in. It felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. Junita was gone. And she didn't say goodbye. I suppose I could see her logic, but it still upset me deeply. I didn't want to think of what life in the Cullen house would be like now. Juanita had been a part of the family for years. She'd practically raised me as much as Esme had.

"Edward, honey, are you ok?"

I struggled to compose myself. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bit shocked."

I could tell from looking at her that she understood how I was feeling, and why I wanted to hide it from her. I'd never been comfortable expressing emotion in front of anyone other than Bella. I didn't know why exactly, I just felt like sadness was a very private emotion. I preffered not to have anyone witness it.

"Well I'll leave you to catch up on your sleep," she said. Her eyes were filled with sympathy and sadness. She turned around and left the room.

As I lay on my bed, I couldn't help but wonder. How much worse would things get for my family before they started to get better?

**A/N: So the plot thickens. What do you all think is up with Bella taking medication? Review and let me know your guesses. **

**Oh actually I happen to be wearing Bellas party outfit in my twitter picture, so if you want to see it go look there. Once again it's www(dot)twitter(dot)com/xBlairCatherine.**

**I hope you enjoyed the chapter.**


	3. Misery Business

**A/N: So we ended up staying in Berlin for almost a month, and I literally didn't touch my laptop more than twice. But here it is. Sorry it's short, I wanted to post it as soon as possible, so I decided to cut it in half.**

**P.S: I just took a year off school, and in that time have practically forgotten how to spell, so excuse any mistakes.**

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* * *

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"So Bella what do you have in mind for your sweet sixteen?" Renee asked. "I'm guessing you're keeping it small considering it's a week away and you haven't said anything about it."

We were sitting at the table eating our Thai take-out, a typical dinner in the Swan-Dwyer house.

"Yeah, I'll probably just do something with the six of us, I don't want a fuss made," I replied.

"Really Bella, you only turn 16 once. I know you hate people making a big deal over you, but I think you might regret it if you don't celebrate properly. We don't even need to have a party on your actual birthday, we could have it next month, that would give us plenty of time to hire a party planner and all that," she said.

"Mom I said no," I snapped. I loved Renee dearly, but I couldn't stand when she tried to push decisions on me. It was _my_ birthday, I knew how I wanted to celebrate. Sighing, I stood up to leave the table.

_Typical moody teenager, huh?_

"Bella wait," Renee said. "Something arrived for you in the post today…" She looked hesitant.

I raised an eyebrow, silently telling her to spit it out.

She reached into the stack of newspapers and mail next to her and handed me a letter.

I looked at the name, and felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. The blood rushed to my head, and I couldn't hear anything but pounding. Why the hell was he writing to me? I grabbed the letter with shaking hands, and ran out of the room. I needed to get out of the house. I felt like I was suffocating. I ran out the door and into my car, slamming the door and throwing the envelope on the seat next to me. I started the engine, still not sure where I was going. As I began to drive, I tried to forget about the letter, but all I could see was that name, as if it were burned into my retinas.

_Charlie Swan._

Without remembering how I got there, I found myself parked outside the Forks book store. It was one of my favourite parts of Forks, a haven of sorts.

I made my way inside, deciding I could distract myself for a couple hours with the books. I was in need of some new reading material anyways. I headed for the teen-lit section, deciding something light-hearted and easy going would be perfect.

* * *

An hour and a half later I had six books chosen. I began making my way to the till to pay. Right as I turned the corner, I crashed straight into something very big and very solid. I stumbled backwards and dropped all the books I'd been holding. Annoyed, I crouched down and started to pick them all up again.

"I'm so sorry, let me help you," a deep male voice said.

"I got it," I snapped back, not bothering to look up. Once I had all the books in my arms I straightened up. I was startled to find the stranger still standing there staring at me.

He was tall, with dark tan skin and jet black hair that he wore in a ponytail. The smile on his face creeped me out.

I didn't know what it was, but something inside me told me not to trust this guy. I subconciously took a step back. I turned around and started to walk away.

"Maybe I'll see you around…" he called after me.

I glanced back at him.

The way he was staring at me sent shivers down my spine.

I quickly paid for my books and left the store.

* * *

I tried to ignore the letter on the seat next to me, but I felt like it was screaming at me, begging to be read. I knew that I couldn't ignore it forever, so I took a deep breath and pulled the car over. I reached for the envelope with shaking hands and tore it open. Trying to keep my breathing even, I began to read.

_"Dear Bella,_

_I am amazed at how quickly 16 years seem to have passed. It seems like only yesterday I got my first glimpse of you, just a grainy image moving around on a monitor. There was apprehension that I'm sure all parents-to-be feel because you are hoping and praying that your child will be healthy, and are even looking further into the future hoping that your child will have a life that is not filled with too many problems and anxiety._

_Because they delivered you by Caesarean, I was not allowed be in the theater when you were born. When they brought me to the post-delivery room you were already in an incubator, so I didn't get to hold you. But it was still an absolutely wonderful moment to look at a baby and say to myself that the wonderful creature before me is my daughter. It is the most overwhelming sense of wonder and awe and sheer joy at the miracle of life. And you lay there with your lovely big brown eyes wide open, seeming to take in everything around you. You were an old soul from the day you were born._

_Having a baby can be stressful and exhausting for the first few months. I remember one night you were being particularly fussy. To try to get you to sleep I took you for a drive at some unearthly hour of the night. Van Morrison was playing on the radio. After at least an hour and a half of driving, you were still wide awake, staring out the window as if asking 'what on earth are we doing driving around at this hour of the morning' so I gave up. We didn't do any more midnight drives after that._

_As I say, the early months can be stressful at times but the sheer pleasure of watching my daughter grow and thrive and develop her own personality was tremendously fulfilling._

_Is it always difficult in some ways being a parent because every upset or illness that you went through, was felt intensely by me as well. It's something you can't understand until you have children of your own._

_I had to leave home for work, and not returning is one of my biggest regrets. I've missed so much of your growing up, so many important occasions in your life. Birthdays, school concerts, exam results and so on. But I never loved you any less than I did the day you were born. I know that this is something you don't understand, but trust me Bella, I love you with all of my heart. You are in my thoughts every day. Hopefully some day, you can forgive me, and we can mend our relationship. Nothing would make me happier._

_Happy birthday._

_I love you,_

_Dad."_

A sob I couldn't hold back escaped my throat. I had been so concentrated on the letter I hadn't noticed my eyes filling with tears which began falling down my face. I crumpled up the letter and threw it back onto the passenger seat.

Anger burned in my veins. How dare he. How dare he write to me and drag up all these burried emotions. And he lied. He didn't love me. A father would never be able to leave his daughter if he loved her.

_'I had to leave home for work_.' Bullshit. Fucking bullshit. He left because he wanted to. I wasn't enough to keep him here. Apparently warm weather was more important than family to him.

I hated him.

I pulled the car out onto the road again and started to drive. The sobs never stopped and the tears kept coming.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later I found myself parked outside of Edwards house. I got out of the car and walked into the house. I hoped Carlisle and Esme weren't at home, I didn't want them to see me in this state. I walked up the stairs and down the hall to his room.

I opened the door to find him sitting on his leather couch reading a book. As soon as I walked in, he left it down and stood up.

"Bella what's the matter?" he asked, concern lacing his velvet voice. He walked over and enveloped me in his arms.

As soon as I was wrapped in his embrace, the tears which I'd managed to stop in the car, started again. I fisted his shirt in my hands as I sobbed into his chest.

"Bella, please tell me what's wrong, you're scaring me," he pleaded.

"My – my dad," was all I managed to get out before the sobs overtook me again.

I felt his grip on me tighten. He knew I held a lot of bitterness and resentment towards my dad.

I tried my best to calm down, so that I could talk to him. I concentrated on his soothing scent, and his comforting hand running up and down my back. Eventually the tears stopped and my breathing evened out.

Edward led me over to the couch. He sat down and pulled me into his lap.

"Sorry, I'm totally overreacting. My dad wrote me a letter," I explained, my voice still raspy from crying.

"You're not overreacting love, you have every right to be upset," he reassured me.

"I'm more angry than upset I think. He abandons me and my mom, I don't hear from him for years, then suddenly he just writes me a letter telling me how much he loves me and how he misses me? A father doesn't leave his daughter if he loves her," I ranted.

"Maybe he's been too scared to write. Maybe he's just realized his mistakes," Edward said.

"Yeah, after 11 years, he finally realized he misses his daughter? Fuck that," I replied.

He didn't answer me, just hugged me tighter to his chest.

I wasn't sure how long we stayed like that for, until we were interrupted by Edwards cell going off.

"It's Emmett. They're at the park and want us to go. We can stay here if you like," he said.

"No lets go," I decided. "Maybe they have drink."

Getting totally wasted sounded like the perfect thing to do right now.

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**A/N: I spent literally an hour digging through my closet to find that letter, the least you can do is leave a review ;)**


	4. Reverie

**A/N: Hannahhh222 asked me a question, and I would just like to clear it up for everyone else. She asked how Bella could drive when she wasn't 16 for another week. Where I live the legal driving age is 18, however I'm 16 and me and a lot of my friends have our own cars and drive. Usually Bella couldn't do that with her police officer daddy, but Charlie isn't around in my story.**

**I also meant to say in my last a/n, I've had to change Bellas birth date for my story.**

**Anyways I'm going to Marbella (Spain) to meet up with friends tomorrow for two weeks (and I actually mean two weeks this time, I have school when I come home), so no more updates until then.**

**Ok enough of this really really long a/n, on with the story.**

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**BPOV**

We pulled up at the park and joined the group. They were sitting right at the edge of the trees, no one would spot us from the road. They were passing around a bottle of Jager and a joint.

"Heeey guys," Alice greeted. It was clear from her slurring that she was already drunk, and her red eyes showed that she was stoned.

"Hey Al, hey everyone," I said as I sat down between Emmett and Edward.

Emmett passed me the joint, and I greedily inhaled. I felt a rush go to my head as the smoke filled my lungs. With a satisfied sigh, I exhaled it again and passed it on. The bottle had now made its way to me, and I gulped down a mouthful. I winced at the foul taste, before taking another swig.

"Easy there Bella, I don't want to be carrying you home tonight," Edward cautioned, teasing me.

"Shut up," I mumbled, taking another mouthful.

He reached over and prised the bottle from my hands. "I know you're still upset, but seriously love, take it easy," he whispered into my ear.

I turned my head to the side to touch my lips to his.

He gently kissed me back, then leaned away and took a swig from the bottle with a smirk on his face.

"Hypocrite," I muttered.

"So Bella, what are your birthday plans?" Rosalie asked from her place opposite me, next to Emmett.

"I'm stuck between two options. Either quiet night in with the six of us, or throw a rager," I told her.

"Hell yeah, go with the rager!" Emmett exclaimed enthusiastically.

"Shut up Em, she can do what she wants," Rose scolded, swatting his arm.

"We'll just see what happens," I said, as I took another drag from the joint.

* * *

We'd been at the park for about two hours. It was fully dark outside, I could vaguely make out who everybody was. There were empty bottles strewn around the circle. We were all completely wasted and stoned. Everything was spinning, and I couldn't focus on anything.

"Bell pass the bottle of Jack that's next to you," Alice slurred.

I looked at the half empty bottle next to me. It seemed to take monumental effort to lift it up and pass it to Alice. I vaguely registered a large amount of it spilling all over my sleeve, but couldn't find it in me to care.

Rose and Emmett were sitting together, in the midst of a heavy makeout session. Edward and Jasper were in deep conversation, which was normal for them while drunk. I was sitting with Alice, trying not to pass out.

"Bella, I want you to know that you are my beeeest friend, and I love you," Alice slurred.

"I love you too Al," I replied.

Without knowing how it happened, Alices mouth was on mine. My tongue pushed between her lips and begal to explore her mouth. I felt a third person, who I assumed was Rose come up beside us, and I turned my head to make room. The three of us sat making out until finally I had to pull away for air.

I collapsed back onto the grass, ready to let sleep overtake me.

"Oh no you don't," I heard Edward say. He reached his arms out and pulled me up and onto his lap. "You can't put on a show like that and then leave me hanging," he growled into my ear. I was immediately aroused.

I turned to straddle his lap, and our mouths met in an urgent kiss. I could feel his erection, and grinded myself into it.

He moaned loudly into my mouth, and thrust upwards again and again. I met him thrust for thrust, groaning and panting into his mouth.

He detatched his lips from mine to move his mouth to my neck. He sucked on my special spot right behind my ear, and I came undone in his arms.

I felt his thrust three more times, before his entire body went rigid, and he shuddered his release, panting into my neck.

"Guys lets go home, it's starting to rain," I heard Rosalie call out.

Typical Rose, even in her totally inebriated state, she still cared about what rain would do to her hair.

"Ok, but I'm gonna need some help," I giggled, with my head still burried in Edwards shoulder.

"Come on," he said, and stood up pulling me with him.

* * *

We stumbled along in the middle of the road for what seemed like hours. I had no idea where we were or where we were going. I was beginning to think we would never make it home. My hand was clasped tightly with Edwards, and it was the only thing keeping me upright.

The others seemed to disappear one by one without me noticing.

I didn't pay attention to where we were until I found myself standing on Edwards porch. I looked at him in confusion.

"You're way too drunk to go home," he answered my silent question.

I couldn't even find the energy to reply, I just let him lead me into his house and up to his room.

As soon as I reached the large black and gold bed, I collapsed onto it and sighed in contentment. I was vaguely aware of Edward removing my shoes and bottoms, and then climbing into the bed next to me. The last thing I felt was him pressing a kiss to my forehead, and then the blackness consumed me.

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**A/N: Nothing really happened in this chapter, seeing as it's part two of the previous one. But I wanted to get something up before I left. The action picks up again next chapter.**

** Please please PLEASE leave a review, it's so discouraging when I only get one or two per chapter. I'm shamelessly begging now. Please :)**


	5. Piss It All Away

**A/N: Sorry sorry sorry! School is kicking my ass, it's hard to settle in after a year off.**

**I've decided not to continue this story unless this chapter gets more than five reviews. I don't enjoy writing it if I feel no one appreciates the time and effort. So if you want me to keep writing, then review.**

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"Bella, we really need to start planning your birthday party," Alice said excitedly from where she was sitting at my vanity playing with her hair.

"Yeah, I'm 90% certain I'll go with the rager idea. A night to remember, you know?" I told her.

"Yesyesyesyes," she squealed. "GREAT idea Bella. Ok I'll start planning right away. We're gonna need to get your parents out of town, that should be the only tricky part. Apart from that, we just need basics like drink, cups, and music. And an outfit of course. You only turn sixteen once, and you have to look fabulous. We should go away somewhere for two days, L.A or something. Your dress needs to be special, not some Port Angeles crap. Oh I'm so excited!"

"Alice, breath," I intstructed teasing her. "In… out… in… out," I said, taking exaggerated breaths.

"Oh shut up," she mumbled. "But seriously. Shopping. A girly mini-vacation. Does that sound good?"

"Actually that sounds great," I agreed. We'll go away on Friday, arrive home on Monday, have the party on Wednesday."

"Oh MY gosh, I am SO excited!" she exclaimed.

"I am too, believe it or not," I replied, laughing. "I'm starved, I'm going to ask Nina for a hot chocolate. Do you want anything?"

"No thank you," she said, and turned back to the mirror to continue doing her hair.

I picked up my cell phone and hit the number eight speed dial.

"Hey Nina, could you bring me up a hot chocolate please? With marshmallows, the little ones," I asked. I hung up the phone and laid back against my pillow with my copy of Wuthering Heights.

We relaxed in my room with only the soothing sound of Bruce Springsteen interrupting the silence. It was rare to get Alice so quiet, and I reveled in it until there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," I called, expecting it to be Nina with my hot chocolate.

I was pleasently surprised to see a crazy mop of bronze hair coming through the door, along with the rest of my boyfriends delicious body. Even better, he was carrying a steaming mug of hot chocolate.

"Hey Bella, Nina let me in," he said, coming over to the bed and leaning over to kiss me.

"Hey Edward," I replied. I took the mug out of his hands and started picking out the marshmallows.

He climbed up on the bed next to me and lounged back against the pillows.

"Hey Alice," he called.

"Hey Edward. I'm glad you're here actually. We're planning Bellas birthday. She wants a proper party and we need to get her parents out of town," Alice informed him.

"When were you thinking of having it?" he asked.

"Next Wednesday around."

"Well that's perfect. Carlisle and Esme are leaving for Dubai on Sunday, Carlisle has a development out there. Have it at my house," he offered.

"Oh Edward, did I ever tell you how much I love you?" she sighed.

"Hey back off, he's taken," I laughed.

"Don't worry Bella, I'm all yours," he smirked. He looked so irrisistable, I couldn't help but lean my head up and kiss him.

He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me to him so that we were facing each other on the bed.

"I'm out of here," I heard Alice say, before my bedroom door opened and slammed closed.

We continued making out for a couple minutes, enjoying the closeness as the relaxing sound of Thunder Road driftined from my Ipod dock.

Eventually he pulled away and rolled back onto his back, pulling me into his side. I rested my head on his chest and sighed in contentment as his fingers began stroking through my hair.

"How are you doing Bella?" he asked softly.

I knew he was refering to my mini-breakdown after the letter from my dad.

"I'm fine, just bitter," I murmered.

"I'm sorry love," he whispered.

I turned onto my side, prompting him to do the same, and buried my head in his chest. I couldn't help the tears that began pouring from my eyes. I was always keeping these thoughts so bottled up that when they were brought up, I wasn't very good at dealing with them.

"Please talk to me," he pleaded gently.

"It's stupid," I said.

"Nothing that makes you upset is stupid love," he reassured me.

I took a deep breath, and stiffled a sob. "It's just… w-why wasn't I enough for him? Why did h-he leave me? My own f-father doesn't love me, how could anyone else ever love m-me. What did I do wrong?" My sobs finally overtook me and I fisted his shirt in my hands, pressing my face even closer to his chest.

"Oh Bella. Your father was an idiot. Don't you dare let him make you feel unworthy, he's missed out on knowing a truly amazing person. It was nothing you did. I love you so much, please don't ever doubt that," he pleaded softly but firmly.

I let his words reassure me, and concentrated on his comforting hand stroking up and down my back. Eventually my tears subsided, and I sniffed loudly wiping my eyes.

"Sorry, I'm just being a whiney teenager," I laughed.

"No, you're not," he whispered, and planted a soft kiss on my head.

* * *

**EPOV**

I walked into the foyer and made a beeline for the stairs. Before I could make it, Esme appeared from the kitchen.

"Edward, come here for a minute," she called. It was clear that the enthusiasm in her voice was forced.

I walked into the kitchen after her and hopped up on a stool at the counter.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Which first, the good news or the bad?" she asked.

"Bad," I tentatively answered.

"Well… we kind of had to sell your Vanquish…" she trailed off, a grimace taking over her features.

I felt the blood drain from my head and grabbed onto the counter for support.

"You… you what?" I asked, not letting myself believe it.

"BUT, the good news it, we bought you a new one!" she exclaimed, trying to sound cheerful.

I didn't trust her. "What kind?" I asked wearily.

"Um… a volvo," she blurted out, before fleeing the kitchen.

A volvo? A fucking volvo? This had to be a joke. I bolted off my stool and down to the garage. There it was, sitting next to Carlisle's sleek black mercedes. A small, shiny, silver volvo. I stood staring at it in shock for god knows how long. There was no way in hell I would be caught dead driving that car.

I turned around and left the garage, heading for Carlisles office on the second floor. I burst in the door without knocking.

"A fucking volvo, dad? What the fuck would a 17 year old male be driving a fucking volvo for? This is a fucking joke, right? What the fuck!" I was getting more and more worked up, pacing up and down the office, tugging at my hair and wiping my eyes even though they were dry.

"Edward. Edward, calm down. EDWARD!"

I froze when he yelled, and turned to look at him.

"Please stop being so selfish, you were raised better than that," he said firmly.

I'd never heard him use such a harsh tone.

"Edward son, please consider my situation. You know I would never do this if it wasn't necessary. Things are changing in the Cullen household, and we all need to adapt to a less extravagent lifestyle. Please understand. Hopefully I'll have it all under control in a matter of months, but for now just help me out here ok?" he said.

I immediately felt ashamed. "I'm sorry dad. It's just a car. Let me know however else I can help out." I turned around and left the office.

I walked down the hall into my room and climbed onto the bed. I began to rub my temples in an effort to relax, but the worry lines felt etched into my forehead. What was happening to my family?

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**A/N: Sorry it's short, but better than nothing eh? **

**Remember, review or say goodbye :)**

**Oh and excuse spelling mistakes.**


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